you can stay, you figured out how to get yourself out of the cold and all, but there are going to be some ground rules.
Number one: You will stay quiet when I am trying to sleep. There will be no loud scurrying or gnawing.
Number two: You will not eat or damage any wiring or insulation.
Number three: If you feel the need to die, wander off first to leave your stench in the forest. I want none of that.
Number four- this is of the utmost importance: You will remain CELIBATE. My apartment is single occupancy, as is its attic. If you want to get out there and swing, or raise a litter of other little mystery animals, you can find a seedier part of town in which to be a parasite.
If you agree to all of these rules, I will not kill or shoo you away. See you around the complex.
5 comments:
Well that's not very Richardesque of you! Shouldn't you be climbing in there and helping this thing procreate (in an animal husbandry (wifery?) way of course) and nest so that you can raise-and-foster-parent the entire family?
And speaking of that, shouldn't you have a flock (or gaggle or herd or pack, etc.) of...of...something by now? You live in the wilderness for goodness' sake! And where's your garden? You should at least have a whole field of witch hazel planted by now, and some sort of obscure winter vegetable that you harvest and cook for your friends!
I'm gonna tell your mom about your slackery and how the civilized world (ha!) is corrupting your nature training.
seriously. my mom offered to buy me a sunset gardening book the other day, i talked her out of it. no garden or pets, and i hate fish- i'm sooo the black sheep.
It's been warned, that's only fair.
i think your rules are utterly fair, and look forward to updates on the beast. or perhaps a photograph, if you sometime venture up there for a neighborly visit.
no way, dude. i'm not going up there. i've heard screeching.
Post a Comment